Ultimate trash talk

The 2016 Sinquefield Cup has ended with its traditional Ultimate Moves finale, where Garry Kasparov, Yasser Seirawan and Rex and Randy Sinquefield joined the players for seven highly entertaining blitz games. You can relive all the action below, including a constant stream of banter and trash talk from the world’s best players. There were some great quotes, though for a taste of real trash talking we also have the thoughts of Radio Jan, who spares no-one and points out another Sinquefield Cup winner: “We did it, internet – we finally broke Anish Giri!”

Garry Kasparov and Team Rex in high spirits as Wesley So (Team Randy) can barely watch | photo: Lennart Ootes

As in previous years, there were two teams competing for the ultimate prize (=“all the marbles”, as far as we understood from Maurice Ashley’s commentary!), one led by tournament sponsor Rex Sinquefield, and the other by his son, Randy. Lennart Ootes had the line-ups: 

Or at least that was everyone but Fabiano Caruana, who did take his place on Team Rex in the end. When the situation was looking dire in the first game he commented:

I was a bit late. That’s probably why we’ve got this position. I feel like I caused some consternation among the ranks!

The format was to play six 5 minute + 3-second delay games, with each player making five moves then swapping with the next member of his team. Predictably, chaos ensued, and we’re not going to attempt a summary of the action here except to say that mistakes were made and White won the first four games, Black the next two, and the tie was broken by a win for T-Rex in a final 10-minute blitz game where each player made only a single move before switching. We’ll spare Randy’s blushes by not adding a diagram of the move that cost the game and tournament 

It may have ended badly for Team Randy, but they had a lot of fun along the way | photo: Lennart Ootes

You can play through all the action using the selector below:

What you really need to do, though, is to rewatch the live show, since it was only marginally about the chess!

The highlight was, of course, the trash talking and general running commentary from the collected grandmasters. Here are a few “overheard in St. Louis” phrases that caught our attention:

Giri to MVL: “On top of all his problems, he’s also a Frenchman”

Aronian: “As long as Veselin doesn’t come and ruin it again…”

Giri: “But we all know, at some point Veselin will join!”

Aronian: “I believe in our French monster… Maxime the Machine!”

Giri: “I had a dream, yeah?”

Rex: “You mess with the best, you die like the rest”

Rex: “Tatev Abrahamyan taught me how to move the pointy-headed guys, so I’m ready!”

Aronian: “Our position is positionally very positional”

Giri after Anand makes a move: “If you have an unusual placement of pieces you have to make use of it… or place them back in usual places again. I’m teaching the GMs!”

So: “I’ve played Ding many times so I know what he’s thinking: ‘How did my teammates get me into this position?’”

The pairing system meant that for six games Garry Kasparov and tournament winner Wesley So made all their moves against each other | photo: Lennart Ootes

Aronian: “The position lacks positionality”

Topalov: “They told me to play solid” Aronian: “Yes, no need to win immediately!”

Giri: “That’s an illusion - it’s not defence, it’s a regroupment!”

Yasser: “This is the Bulgarian school of chess”

Giri: “I’m objective here, and no matter the partner, when a move is awful I say it’s awful” Ashley: “Great teammate!”

Aronian: “Randy is playing like Magnus”

Aronian: “Too much understanding”

Ashley: “Ding Liren, the no. 1 blitz player in the world” So: “The rating list doesn’t mean anything!”

Topalov: “Anish, it’s too deep for you”

Maxime Vachier-Lagrave: “I had a dream”

Aronian: “My position is too positional”

Aronian: “Where’s Vladimir when you need him”

Giri to MVL: “Your moves have been so meaningful”

Rex after the final victory: “I feel like a blind squirrel who found a walnut”

Not bad, if I may say so myself | photo: Lennart Ootes

We’ve saved the best for last, though – one final exchange of views:

Giri: I’m sorry, Yasser, but today you can’t trash talk me - I’m playing like God!

If I may say so myself!

Giri: Like they say, if you don’t praise yourself, nobody will praise you.

In your case, this is correct!

Giri: Yasser, why all the hate? Why all the hate?

Indeed, it was a question that hung in the air 

Fortunately, though, Anish has at least one fan, the notorious Radio Jan. We can’t endorse the views of this bitter and twisted observer of the chess scene, but, since the event was held in the good old US of A, we should respect his first amendment rights. You have been warned!

In case you couldn’t stomach the whole video, here’s the section on our hero Anish Giri, which starts with Jan discussing Wesley So:

I liked the way you carry yourself, but sometimes you overdo it a bit too, like you complimented Anish Giri – you said, “even Anish Giri could win this tournament”. Ok, granted you said he could win this tournament, “on a great day”, but still, let’s be realistic here: Anish Giri, presently, he can’t even win a spelling bee for first graders! You gotta be kidding me! And he knows that.

Do you guys know why Anish Giri can’t win a single thing? Because we did it, internet - we finally broke Anish Giri! We have defeated the man. All these jokes about him – haha, he’s the artist because he likes to draw… We finally made it. He can’t play anymore. Now he wishes he could be the artist who could draw. We’ve got to start calling him Van Gogh, because he used to draw before he went insane and lost it! Anish Giri, what happened to you? 3/9?

I’ve got to give you one thing, though, you were the only entertaining player in this tournament. Without your statements in the press conferences I would have fallen even more asleep trying to follow this stuff – so credit for that, but clearly we have defeated you, Anish. Not a draw, buddy boy, not a draw! We won.

Giri and his St. Louis crew | photo: Lennart Ootes

In the circumstances, Anish was taking it pretty well 

So that’s really all now from this year’s Sinquefield Cup. As always, there are countless tournaments to follow at the moment, but the next huge clash of the stars will be the Baku Olympiad that starts in two weeks’ time.

See also:

• Grand Chess Tour website
• Chess Club and Scholastic Center of Saint Louis
• 2016 Sinquefield Cup games with computer analysis
  
• 7 Sinquefield Cup 2016 questions
• Sinquefield Cup Round 1: So gets first win over Nakamura
• Sinquefield Cup Round 2: Amazing turnarounds
• Sinquefield Cup Round 3: Five battles, five draws
• Sinquefield Cup Round 4: Another beautiful day
• Sinquefield Cup Round 5: Topalov takes the lead
• Sinquefield Cup Round 6: Wesley So topples Topalov
• Sinquefield Cup Round 7: Caruana pulls a Caruana
• Sinquefield Cup Round 8: Aronian and Svidler strike
• Sinquefield Cup Round 9: Wesley wins it all